Hey guys!
Ok so in case you’re confused by the title I don’t
mean that I’ve been reincarnated loads or something and am now having a crisis in my 5th
life. I guess that would be cool but also weird. And if I could choose, I'd be reincarnated as a meerkat or something cause that seems like it'd be kinda fun. ANYWAY, what I mean is that I feel as
if I’m having a mid-life crisis but at 17, I think (or at least I hope) a fifth-life
crisis is more accurate, because I'm about a fifth of the way through my life. Yeah, doesn’t quite have the same ring does it?
(Ok so this is a pretty cringy selfie thing, but just thought the post looked a bit bare with no pictures. This is my 'omg what am I doing with my life' face.)
This year will be my last at secondary school which is
exciting but also scary. I feel as if I can’t wait to go out and live my life
but at the same time I feel about as independent as a 12
year old. However, whether I’m ready or not the
time will soon come to venture into the big wide world as an adult (or at least
legally an adult, possibly not mentally). So, I have a pretty huge decision to
make… WHAT DO I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE?
It seems crazy that at 17 I have to decide how I want the rest of my life to turn out. Ok, I know that I can always change my mind and change career and change my name (not that I think I’d ever need to do that) but really? What I choose to do after school will shape the rest of my life. One thing that annoys me in Ireland is how everybody assumes you’re going to college. And there’s never any choice with the Leaving Cert (i.e your last really really important school exam) , like you don’t actually have to do it but you’re pretty much taught that if you don’t finish school you won’t go to college and you won’t get a job and you won’t be happy and then YOU'LL DIE. By the way when I say college I mean university, cause I know in the UK it means something else.
It seems crazy that at 17 I have to decide how I want the rest of my life to turn out. Ok, I know that I can always change my mind and change career and change my name (not that I think I’d ever need to do that) but really? What I choose to do after school will shape the rest of my life. One thing that annoys me in Ireland is how everybody assumes you’re going to college. And there’s never any choice with the Leaving Cert (i.e your last really really important school exam) , like you don’t actually have to do it but you’re pretty much taught that if you don’t finish school you won’t go to college and you won’t get a job and you won’t be happy and then YOU'LL DIE. By the way when I say college I mean university, cause I know in the UK it means something else.
However I do want to go to college. I’m not sure what
I want to do there yet but I definitely want to go. I know that I want to do something
science-y because chemistry, biology and maths are my favourite subjects in
school so it would make sense. At the moment pharmacy is top of my list but
it’s not like my one big passion and dream to become a pharmacist, it’s just
what I can most easily see myself doing.
And then there’s where to go to college. There is a
good university near where I live but I don’t really want to stay in my home town.
Eighteen years of living here and now I just want to see new places and
experience new things. Also I’d like to move out of home and see what it’s like
living independently of my parents. There are other universities in Ireland I’d
like to go to but right now I’m really set on Scotland. I’ve never even been to
Scotland but lots of Irish students go there and it would be really cool to
live in a different country for a while (even though Scotland’s probably the
country most like Ireland in the entire world)
I think that this is A LOT of stuff for me to be
figuring out right now. What if I hate what I choose to study? What if
I decide I want a completely different career path? What if I’m unhappy? WHAT
IF I MAKE BAD CHOICES?
So in case you haven’t guessed by now, I can get
pretty stressed out. But when you think about it, you literally have this one life that you can make really exciting and
fun or just average and safe and it’s all up to you, like that is scary. I’ve only started thinking about this
recently and it’s impossible to un-think it. So, sorry if I’ve made you start
questioning your existence now..
I know this is really different from my usual posts
but I don’t want to restrict myself to just beauty stuff, I want to write about
stuff that’s actually happening in my life.
To end this I guess I can just say YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE so do what makes you happy (I'm being ironic, k?)
Catriona xo
Hey Catriona! You answered your own question: "You literally have this one life that you can make really exciting and fun or just average and safe and it’s all up to you." It sounds like your gut instinct is to study some sciences in Scotland and then you can take it all from there. College/uni is a chance for you to live a bit and what you study doesn't mean you're going to be limited to becoming a scientist, not at all. You will learn research skills, you'll learn about all the different sorts of jobs that are out there so they may be directly science-y or not. But you can make those big decisions in a few years time. Plus, if you choose a course/uni and then you hate it, it's really not such a big deal to change your mind. In fact, lots of people have wiggly career paths, doing different things along the way. it makes it more fun! It's good to start thinking about this stuff but try not to let it make you anxious :)
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot this is some really great advice! You're right there's no point worrying about this stuff too much, I should just see where life takes me really!!
DeleteAlso, like to add that I really appreciate that you took the time to write such a thoughtful and helpful reply, it means a lot! :) xo
DeleteThanks for sharing this Miss!XOXO
ReplyDeleteJeanne
http://fashionmusingsdiary.com
Haha you're very welcome!!
Delete